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I’m not your girlfriend.

Don’t call me love or sweetie.
Don’t treat me like I’m a million times more special than anyone else.
Yeah you love me but do I love you? No.
I’m not your girlfriend.
Let me have my freedom and let me have my space
Let me take a breather because you make me suffocate.
Leave me alone at night and don’t say you wanna snuggle
Let me go to sleep cause you know I don’t like cuddles.
To remind you again, I’m not your girlfriend
I know I won’t be if you keep acting this way.
I feel so trapped beneath you and you’re catching up to me.
I’m trying to run away from the fear of getting hurt and run towards the line of being cured.
I wanna see other people, and I wanna be happy.
But you being so happy with me, make me think twice about my actions.
Let me remind you, I am not your girlfriend.
I wi not surprise you at work
Not will I bring you food
I have all these thought in my head, but I know It just won’t do.
I push my self to get away from the thought of you
And look towards other people because as you know, I’m not your girlfriend.
I say things that I want and you automatically assume it’s you who I want it with, that is never true because I don’t know who I wanna be true to.
Yeah you’re my best friend but that’s you’ll ever be.
So back off dude, give me some space please. Oh and remember
I’m not your girlfriend.

It’s crazy.

How one point in time you could be doing nothing. Just working from time to time.

Then once you join something it seems like there’s no freedom.

I’ve been so busy now days that it’s gotten hard to breathe.

Marching band every Monday Wednesday Friday and sometimes both Saturday and Sunday.

Work Tuesday Thursday and every morning.

Then you have my ex smothering me, and my parents treating me like I’m 10

I just wanna get up and leave.

I don’t wanna go to school. I just wanna work and get my own house.

I wanna move somewhere, that I’ll enjoy.

I’ve lived on Hawaii my entire life… I don’t love it here. I hate it actually.

I’d rather be somewhere else. Anywhere but here.

I hate the beaches. I hate the sun. I hate some people.
I just hate it here. It’s a beautiful place, don’t get me wrong. But I don’t picture myself staying here forever.

Maybe I’ll move to the mainland and once I miss Hawaii I’ll move back. But for now, I hate it here. Especially at home.

Get me out.

I’m so tired of you.

You say you’re my sponsor. But you never act like it.
I try my best to check up on you, because you never check up on me.
I wanna see you, but you never have time for me.

Why did I even choose you as my sponsor?

You make no effort to guide me on my path to God

I’ve lost all faith in you and I guess I have to travel this path to God alone.

What else can I do anymore? I feel like I’m nothing to you.

Thanks for being a sponsor to me and making it like I meant something in your life when you were in Hawaii.

I now know that since you moved, I mean nothing to you, just some girl that’s your candidate.